Jul 28, 2006

Happy Blog-o-versary!

This blog turns 1 year old today. It's been an interesting first year, that's for sure. Those of you that have been around since the blog's inception know that I've had a wild ride. Hell, even those of you that HAVEN'T been around the whole year know that I've had a pretty wild ride. Crazy ex-girlfriends, psycho ex-boyfriends, canine surgeries, estate drama, work strife-- this blog has seen it all.

Thanks to all of you for your unending support this past year. I thought it would be fun to re-post the entry that started it all:

At Least Cobain HAD Talent! (DANGER: Bitter Ranting Ahead)

Okay... here's the situation. (I love starting sentences with lyrics from Will Smith songs... MAD props to anyone who can get that reference, although I'm remembering that the host of The Real Gilligan's Island says it too.) For the sake of protecting all involved (namely: The Bitter Law Student herself) I'm going to change some names around. Anyway, so I have this horrendous Ex-From-Hell who we're going to call "Kurt," because he slightly resembled and therefore wanted to BE the former lead singer for the band Nirvana. Kurt and I dated... we were happy and decided that we wanted to get married. Then all hell broke loose and we split up. Reconciliation was in the works, though... so I continued to ride this merry-go-round for a YEAR AND A HALF. And it was always the same story. "I love you, but I don't know if I'm IN LOVE with you... but I think we'll end up getting back together." Blah blah blah.

Enter "Yoko," his supposed "best friend" (who is female: I already hear enough jokes about Kurt's sexual orientation... let's put them to bed right here) who was also supposed to be THE MAID OF HONOR in our wedding! (calling Rachel Greene, come in Rachel Greene!) Yoko also informed me that she had NO plans to move in on Kurt; that she and Kurt were just friends and that it would never change. (Anyone see where this is going?) Anyway, while Kurt and I continued on our strange little dance of doing-everything-you-do-when-you're-dating-without-calling-it-dating, I started to question his friendship with Yoko. You know, I thought it was weird when Yoko would call him at 2am, and when her dog died, and for what seemed like regular twenty-minute intervals. I deemed it odd when he "coincidentally" decided that he wanted to hang with HER on Valentine's Day instead of me... and HIS BIRTHDAY. (Yeah, I know... I'm so stupid I should be a contestant on The Gong Show.) Anyway, during this time, he insisted that he and Yoko were "just friends," and it took two people to point out to me that he was lying through his teeth: My therapist... and HIS MOTHER, who sold him out like the cheap whore he is.

So... upon hearing the words of Kurt's mother, I changed the locks on my apartment and told him to get his things out. THAT didn't happen until the weekend of July 4th... when I "moved him out"...essentially, placing his things in a storage unit.) Kurt and I had done some pretty serious bickering over this time frame, mainly over custody of MY dog. THAT's another post. Anyway, Yoko had been planning to go to graduate school in a place that Kurt would (and should) have had ZERO interest in. However, I've heard from mutual friends that Kurt quit his job and is planning to move there this fall. Yeah, Yoko and Kurt are SO not an item, right? Anyway. My friends (bless them) have heard me whine about Kurt for months, so I'm going to do everyone a favor and I'm going to tell him everything that I would LIKE to say to his face, but just can't. If you're ONE of those friends who have let me vent on their shoulder, feel free to skip the next paragraph (or six):

I feel sorry for you. I'm sorry that you're over 30 now, and you still don't have a CLUE as to what you want to do with your life. I'm sorry that you seem to think that it's everyone's fault but yours. You think moving with Yoko is going to change anything? You think it's going to change the fact that you LIE and CHEAT on the women that you "claim"to love? You once told me that I had been raised to be a liar... what a great case of the pot calling the kettle black. I never lied to your face or led you to believe something that wasn't true. I'm not the one who toyed with people's emotions just because I could. That's the difference between you and me. You may not believe that I was brought up to be honest... but I was brought up with a conscience. You should really look that term up. Hell, I'll even buy you a dictionary so you can look it up.

I'm sorry that your life isn't what you want it to be, but don't you think you're a little too old for the things you want to do? The whole Peter Pan syndrome is NOT attractive to women your age, which is probably why your girlfriends keep getting younger and younger.. and when they inevitably grow up, as I did, they'll realize that you're nothing but a leech. If you wanted to do something with your life, you would have DONE it, or you'd be on the road to doing it... and dropping out of college (again) is NOT means of achieving your goals. You think a change of scenery (and women) is going to help you with your chronic depression... cause that follows you WHEREVER you try to run. Do you think you're going to get discovered out there? Cause, honey, if Soderburgh hasn't knocked on your door yet, chances are he's not gonna. Oh, and as for the whole Nirvana thing? Yeah, Kurt Cobain was amazing. But he lived an incredible life by the time he was 27... by my calculations, you're three years over that mark and counting. And besides, COBAIN HAD TALENT.

I'm not bitter that you didn't want me. In time, I'll thank you for being the selfish ass that you are. I'm bitter because I wasted so much of my life and my energy with you, and on you, wondering what you saw in Yoko instead of me... wondering why I wasn't good enough for you. I'm bitter because everytime I tried to make a clean break, you were there to make sure that it was something straight out of a bad episode of 90210: The Brenda Years. In my heart, I know we weren't a good fit. I was more ambitious and wanted more out of life than you knew what to do with. And you focused more time on your precious X-Box than on your dreams and that frustrated the hell out of me. I know that you would have cheated on me... repeatedly. I know that you would have lied to me... constantly. So, I'm thanking you already for getting the hell out of my life. And as for Yoko? Well, let's just say this: I thought she was smarter than that. Apparently not, as she's been "friends" with you for years and seen you do this merry-go-round with a number of women. She's not going to change you, and to quote some Savage Garden, "When the madness stops, then you will be alone." So, goodbye, Kurt. And Yoko? He's all yours. May God have mercy on your soul.


At July 28, 2006 10:57 AM, Blogger I-66 said...

C'mon, BLS. Who do you think you're dealing with?

"Okay, here's the situation / My parents went away on a week's vacation / and they left the keys to the brand new porsche / would they mind? mmm... well... of course not"

C'mon, Toots, my name is The Prince!

At July 28, 2006 11:01 AM, Blogger The BLS said...

LOL. I should have known that YOU would have gotten it immediately.

I totally had a dream about you last night, I-66! For some reason, we were co-contestants on Project Runway... I have NO idea where that came from. :)

At July 28, 2006 11:21 AM, Blogger I-66 said...

What the crap?

I wasn't gay, was I? Did I whoop ya?

At July 28, 2006 11:39 AM, Blogger The BLS said...

No.. you were straight, we were working as a team, and at the time I woke up... we were winning!

The odd thing is that we weren't going by our real names. Our monikers were "I-66" and "The Bitter Law Student"

Crazy stuff. :)

At July 28, 2006 12:33 PM, Blogger I-66 said...

Right on. Not sure how I feel about being on the show, or my inability to collect any dream winnings had we been victorious.

At July 28, 2006 4:36 PM, Blogger la lawyer said...

Ah, we all have an ex (or two) that we should have kicked to the curb long before we did.

Did you ever tell the story of the dog custody battle? My friends always thought I was crazy for giving my ex visitation with the dog.

At July 28, 2006 5:45 PM, Blogger LawMommy said...

Happy Bloggy Birthday BLS.

LA -- you really gave your ex visitation rights with the dog? Amicable.

At July 28, 2006 8:14 PM, Anonymous Thinking Fool said...

A brilliant first post! Happy anniversary.

At July 28, 2006 10:58 PM, Blogger The BLS said...

LA Lawyer-- You did the visitation thing, too? I'm glad I'm not the only nice girl left in the world... :)

At July 29, 2006 7:11 AM, Blogger The 'Twenty-Something' said...



Miss H

At July 30, 2006 12:31 PM, Anonymous LisaBinDaCity said...

Happy Blog Anniversary!

At July 31, 2006 6:34 AM, Blogger LawNut said...

That letter is awesome...happy blogday!!

At July 31, 2006 10:04 AM, Anonymous Jada said...

Good for you. Good riddance Kurt!

At July 31, 2006 7:06 PM, Anonymous Legally Brunette said...

Happy Anniversary! :)

I am of the generation that remembers when the Fresh Prince was not an award-winning actor, but rather one half of a "rap" duo. I wonder what happened to poor DJ Jazzy Jeff, and if he's bitter about all the fame and attention Will has receieved?

At August 02, 2006 1:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, I was just sitting in my office, pretending to do some actual legal work, when an old song came on the radio and I realized...oh, my god...Kurt is the guy from the song "Flavor of the Week." By the way I would like to take this opportunity to point out that all of the girls that Kurt has used and abused over the years are now successful and in happy, healthy relationships...while he is still a thirty-something, two time college drop out, who couldn't even get a job at Starbuck's, and who still doesn't know the meaning of monogomy.
Love- Marilyn

At August 02, 2006 6:54 PM, Blogger KILROY_60 said...

Looking back, it has been a most interesting year for you. Congratulations on the first one and best of luck in the second.

While you're doing you're next update, what would you think about adding a link to Fear And Loathing In The Blogosphere? I have had you listed as a Blog Of Note; would like to move you to the Blogosphere Link Exchange section.

With Liberty And Justice For All...
{Which we all know has nothing to do with the law}

At August 06, 2006 6:22 PM, Blogger Kitrah said...

One year down, nice!


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