Jan 24, 2006

Sound the Alarm! Tool Alert!

It's come to my attention that some folks who have stopped by my blog recently have questioned my taste in movies and this blog in general, stating things like, "Your tired... really" and "Judging by your tastes in movies...how old are you?"

First things first: Y-O-U-'-R-E spells "You are." Y-O-U-R means "your." If you are going to surf your negativity onto my blog, at least have the courtesy to use the English language correctly.

Now, addressing the issue of my taste in movies, specifically those that I could watch over and over again-- let's review, shall we?

1. Erin Brockovich-- nominated for 5 Academy Awards, including Best Picture. Won an Oscar for Julia Roberts (Best Actress). Box Office Gross= $125 million. Rotten Tomatoes rating= FRESH. (For those of you who are unaware, Rotten Tomatoes is a website which collects movie reviews from critics and posts them, in addition to a collective rating. Favorable ratings of 60% or more earns the movie a FRESH rating. Less than 60% gets a ROTTEN rating.)
2. Good Will Hunting-- nominated for 9 Academy Awards, including Best Picture. Won 2 Oscars (Best Writing Directly for the Screen and Best Supporting Actor.) Box Office Gross= $138 million. Rotten Tomatoes rating= FRESH.
3. Legally Blonde-- nominated for 2 Golden Globes, including Best Picture. Box Office Gross= $95 million. Rotten Tomatoes rating= FRESH.
4. Mean Girls-- Box Office Gross= $86 million. Rotten Tomatoes rating= FRESH.

Okay... now let's examine the movie that is the source of your blog name: Van Wilder-- Box Office Gross= $21 million. Rotten Tomatoes rating= ROTTEN (with a sad, sad 17%, I might add.) Don't get me wrong, I found the movie amusing and was pleasantly surprised by Ryan Reynolds. I don't mean to be rude when I say this (actually I do), but YOU ARE NO RYAN REYNOLDS.

In addition, I find it amusing that you made the conscious decision to attack the blog of someone who came to your defense when called a "tool" by The Blog Snob. Doing that only proves that Blog Snob had it right all along. You are, in fact, a tool. Feel free to never visit my blog again. Your presence will not be missed, nor will it be noticed.

(To the rest of my readers: This has nothing to do with you. You guys rock!)


At January 24, 2006 9:52 PM, Blogger Ranando said...

You know I dig your blogs and if you say these movies are good, then they're GOOD, period.

OH MY GOD, I can't remember - they're or their, shit.

Your blogs looking good to, keep it up.

At January 25, 2006 4:21 AM, Blogger TheBlogSnob said...

Oh stop fighting him. You'll be like all the others and flock to him.

Just remember me when he stops bloggin...again.

At January 25, 2006 4:22 AM, Blogger BadGod said...

I agree with myself. You look like someone famous, but I can't quite figure it out.

At January 25, 2006 5:00 AM, Blogger HMC said...

I agree with your sentiments but you shouldn't fight him. That's only going to make it worse. You should just go on with your awesomeness and ignore the tool. Bullies require constant attention to exist. That's Playground Rules 101. =)

At January 25, 2006 6:15 AM, Blogger LisaBinDaCity said...

You go girl! And you rock too!

Perhaps you might want to revisit my post "Best in Show." Hello Miss Pot calling Miss Kettle black ;-)

At January 25, 2006 11:42 AM, Blogger Earl said...

I'm so easily amused.

At January 26, 2006 5:02 PM, Blogger AnonymousCog said...

Dear Tools,
Not all of us can do a round house kick,(Curse you Chuck Norris!)
Not all of us can kill a man with our bare hands...
But there are still some of us who can kick your metaphorical, sorry-spellin' ass!!
There's a special kind of superiority that comes with an above average knowledge of the English language.

Good Post BLS!


At January 26, 2006 10:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

First off, I have no stake whatsoever in this conflict. This is the first time I've ever even been to your page so I don't know the first thing about you. I'm sure you're a lovely person. Also, in the interest of full disclosure, out of all the movies you've named I've only ever seen Legally Blonde. So with that out of the way...

I wish you'd resist from falling back onto appeals to authority when justifying your movie choices. Seeing as you're a law student, I trust you'll know what I'm referring to.

Do you remember that Bill Hicks show (the one in Chicago where he went off on the drunks in the audience and American society in general) where he discussed Michael Bolton. Here's a bit of it:

"WHEN A MAAAAANNNN LOVES A WOMAN!!!! Do you not realise how fake that is? Please tell me you realise how much that guy sucks!

(goat-noise) baaaaaaa. BUT BILL! HE WON A GRAMMY! (goat-noise) baaaaaa. THAT MEANS HE'S GOOD IN OUR CULTURE!"

If you've no idea what I'm referring to, I'd recommend watching it on Google Video sometime. It's readily available. Just search for Bill Hicks. Anyway, my point is that just because your movies have fresh ratings and raked in boatloads of cash doesn't make them of indisputably high quality.

Simple point, I suppose. And again, I don't seek to disparage your choices in film one way or another. I just find it distateful when people go about justifying their own preferences on the basis of monetary earnings or the esteem in which they are held by the culture in general. Particularly when the culture in question is as shallow, celebrity-obsessed, and easily distracted as our own.

You have your own opinions. They don't become more correct just because a bunch of "tools" at the MPAA happen to be in agreement with them.

Keep on keepin' on.

At January 11, 2007 9:07 PM, Blogger The Blogger Formally Known As Van! said...

I have missed you... Nice to see you still write :-) I am back :-) remember me... no more Van...

the adventures of Michael Tragic!


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